then and it still heartbroke me why? When I was in my teens I had my first love her name was loran and well she picked on my her alot here is the list what she did

* Ask me out and truth I was thinking she meant it and she was only taking the fun out off me

* she kick me and hit

* she Sexual touch me by rubbing her body parts onto me and my backside

* she stood outside my house for 2 years kissing and Sexual touching each other with her new boyfriend just to hurt me and it did I never got over it

* she got me out off school and cost me GCSE
* and she picked on my family
could you forgive her if you was me, truth is I still got feelings for her but I want to have a girlfriend. I mean dam it ! i'm 24 and I still got feelings for her I know I should be ashame of myself . anyway after all that trouble 7 years later we met for first time and ever since I been so upset and so mad at myself. Without Loran theres no air in me and and I feel so sad I guess I should be ashame cause of my looks, I LOVE HER guys
I hate myself cause I wasn't right for her, I had trouble at the time with reading and spelling and I wasn't rich for her but the other guy was, plus my heart was so greases (Sad) I missing her so much . but Dam it ! why am i feeling like this , she wouldn't kiss me (Sad) i'm sorry i'm lost

"Without Loran theres no air in me" don't say things like that. People should never depend on one person that much and this girl treated you like crap. That's not love. That's obsession and you not having enough self-esteem/respect/confidence to know you didn't deserve that.. Getting a bit angry would be your first step.

Guess i read your story weeks ago,and you're still lost in this situation.
Sounds to me you're the boy that hasn't grown up,you don't want to let go of the past.and have you ever heard of this saying"forbidden fruits are always the sweetest."
You liked her loads but you couldn't have her,then you met her again,all those feelings came back and made you want her more as you still dont have her as yours.

Its nice to know that you have strong feelings for someone for such a long time. But love works on both sides. Is she actually worth your attention and feelings? Is she the right person?

Right,love is blind sometimes. But us humans learn from mistakes. How does she treat you now?
Does she treat you with respect?
Or does she treat you just like how she was 7 years ago?

Look at the reality,don't lose your own self and dignity. No matter how strong the feelings are, if you want to let go of them, you will eventually. But if deep down,you don't want to get over it,you never will.
YOU are the one who actually decides whether or not you can be happy& get over those miserables.

on the other hand, i suggest you to get some psychological therapy, you sound like very lack of confidence in yourself.
Talk to some professionals, they may be able to help you more.

Good luck

"Obsessed is more like it"
Yes, It hurts, I know....and yes, it can last for years. The worse thing anyone can say to you is: "it will pass in time", or that "you'll forget her".....It never seems to be enough when people say that, does it. But you know what? It's true. You WILL get over her. She doesn't seem to me to be good for you. Try something, will you? Try doing this.....

Sit down and relax completely.
Imagine that you are Loran are married.
You have children.
You work to pay the bills and to support the family.
You are happy.

Now, go outside, find yourself a great big rock.
Take the rock in your right hand.
Now, hit yourself over the head with the rock and say to yoursef: "What was I thinking?!" 100 times.

Loran is no good for you. She would never be faithful, she would be hurting you and your ego every chance she got.
She would probably be a bad mother and you would be miserable.

Somewhere out there IS the one for you, but Loran is NOT her. Just be patient. I won't say "time will heal", or any of that other crap that's so meaningless when you're in pain, so I just wish you good luck and Godspeed.

One more thing: There is a faster way to get over her, but it's hard to do.....confront her. Tell her what you want from her, tell her you love her, stand your ground, pitch a tent and wait for her to let you know (YES or NO) - tell her you will not leave until she is yours......she will probably just hurt you again, and you will get over her faster.

hey, do i know you? are you from europe, do you study computers at your college? are you 20? (though you said ur 24). do you like basketball, do you write poems sometimes? do you do breakdance, do you like rap?
you sure remind me of someone, though i hope that someone is happy, and not sad like u.