is my mother in law going to be meaner to me now?

[Sunshine]

my father in law died two weeks ago and i tried to help her out as well as my husband did. at first she started attacking her other daughter in law, now i am getting the feeling is my turn. she has a history of blaming people for everything that goes wrong and i kind of feel she will hate both of us now that she doesnt have a husband and only has two sons. she obviously thinks that noone is good enough for them...

[Nita R]

she probably doesn't hate you. some people's way of dealing with pain is by getting angry and taking it out on others. the best thing you can do is stay positive and be there when she needs you. don't overstep your welcome. take everything she says with a grain of salt.

[Mojojojo]

I know just how you feel my mother in law is just the same, nothing is ever her fault.
I now have no contact with her, my partner goes to see her and takes our kids but i will never have anything to do with her again.

[dingding]

Try to understand that grieving, especially over a spouse, can cause people to do some really bizarre things. They can totally reverse their personalities at a time like this...everything is surreal to them, there is still denial there and she is probably struggling just to get out of bed each day. Give it a few months and just suck it up for a while if she's mean to you. Maybe the other sister-in-law can be a source of support for you if it gets bad, but you're just going to have to give your MIL a break at this time. Sorry it's rough.

[sheloves_dablues]

Your mother in law is in the initial stages of grief, so cut her a bit of slack.. Deep down she knows you love her and are only trying to help, but she needs do grieve the way she needs to grieve... And she may need her sons more now than ever.. But in time, she'll begin to heal, and whatever relationship strain there may have been will alleviate. In the meantime, do what you can to assist when and where she needs or allows and know in your heart that you're doing the best you can, just as she is.