My son won't go fishing, play soccer, etc....his dad is upset. Advice please?

[~ Cheryl C ~]

My son just doesn't enjoy those things, and that's fine by me, I think he shouldn't be forced into them just cause my husband likes those things. He cant understand that all kids are different and that cause he's a boy does not neccessarily mean he'll like fishing and soccer.

He's 8 by the way and would rather read books about dinosaurs and space and things like that, if that's what makes him happy then I'm happy.

I've tried to get them to compromise, I told my son to try an activity once instead of refusing even to try but if he doesn't like it then he doesnt have to do it again, and I told my husband if he wants to spend time with him then to get involved in the things that interest my son but as of yet he hasn't made much effort to do so.

He is blaming me for getting him interested in scientific things.


He isnt overweight, he gets physical excercize.
We live near a playground which I take him to most days, he gets plenty of excercize and his weight and health are fine
He's not our only son by the way

[Hector.]

don't let he watch tv on his free time and tell him to spent more time with his father. or you can tell your husband to read to him and that way they can spent time together and maybe will go out and fish or play soccer with him.

[Twist]

hmm, maybe they could go to a museum> they have dinar-soars and space, if the dad likes sports they could make up a game, or try basketball or football, well my daughter is 7 her name is Rose, she loves space, and dinar-soars she cannot stop reading, she wont do anything else, i try spending time with her, then she goes into the bathroom and reads and says I'm taking a poop! it will be really long!!!! but she does that to get away... i have a eye toy, i been starting to ask her lets make a web show sweetie you can read on it! and shes like no way! that would be so em-brassing, I tell her to read books about growing she ignores i ask her to go to friends houses, sleepovers parties when shes invited and she says NOOOOO! i want to read.. sometimes she surfs the internet, and does math........she wont watch HSM, Hannah Montana, she only likes Fergie, but only when its her birthday or a holiday she will listen.... I'm just sad, i read aloud to her but she goes and does experiments, she won first place at the science fair, I'm proud but, she needs friends, lots of kids like her, but she reads, and ignores them!

[moonbow]

Ask your son what he would like to do. Perhaps he would enjoy dad taking him to an adventure playground, making models together, a trip to the science museum.
It is good your son is intersted in scientific things and all quite normal for a boy of 8. In a year or two he may be more interested in fishing and football.
Do you think the problem might be between you and your husband?
I don't mean to be rude, but you said your husband is blaming you.

[joshuawilson28]

your kid needs to get outdoors. doesn't matter if he likes to fish or not. there are so many things you can learn doing this. I ain't wild about a lot of things but do it, gain the experience, learn something and grow up with the knowlege.
Personally, fishing isn't my favorite but it is a good pastime to revisit a few times a year. Get the kid outta the house and make him go, once he's there and he gets a fish on his line, he may gain a new respect for it. Kids need a little shove out of the nest to learn to fly.

[rosiereal]

Tell his Dad to get over it. Everyone is different. My son is also 8 and in to science, drawing and computer games. He's not a big sports fan (although he does take karate lessons) However, neither myself or my husband are interested in sport much either. For all those people here saying that as he's a boy he has to play sport, wtf??!! I'd much rather have a thoughtful, clever son who was happy than a miserable football player. Oh, and none of us are over weight, we just don't like organised sport.

[jessica]

It sounds a lot like a tug-of-war game. Neither wants to give in. Dinosaurs and space are pretty common things for a boy to be interested in but so are fishing and soccer. If you have tried to explain to them (together) that it's not about WHAT you are doing, just that you are doing something TOGETHER, and they still haven't listened then I suggest finding something that involves dinosaurs and space but are more exciting than say, a museum, to get your husband interested. There is a show traveling right now called Walking with Dinosaurs. It's got life size (with skin) robotic dinosaurs that move around and reach into the crowd and looks very interesting (even for an adult). See if it's coming to a place close to you. Also, has your husband offered to take your son to a professional soccer game? That would be more exciting than playing it in the yard and just may get your son interested. If you live near NASA, have your husband take your son to watch a shuttle launch. I think everyone could find that interesting. But the point is to spend time with each other, even if it's taking a camping trip to look at bugs. Whatever appeases them both.

Here, check out the dinosaurs show site here: http://www.dinosaurlive.com/

[OHsnapsXD]

dinos and space is pretty awesome :]

get him into sumthing he'd enjoy thats atheltic, ask him various tihngs of what he'd like to try out, i took skating <3

[?justdaydreaming?]

have his dad take him to a science museam
it can be interesting for all ages

[Ol' Skool]

Okay, May I begin by saying that I have Sons and Grand-sons.
Some of them like outdoor sports and some don't. What I do, is to show interest in what they enjoy and devote time to what makes them happy. I am an Old Guy, so I don't' have to "be entertained" very much on my own. It is very comfortable for me to do these things the way I do.

Having said that, let me say this. Not all men are alike. I know you always hear "all you men are just alike" But we aren't. We are actually rather complex creatures.

Men in general, I think are somewhat selfish about their time. I can understand your husband wanting his son to accompany him on his outdoor outings as well.

However, I feel that if he would take time to "bond" with his son. Whether reading a book or working on a project together, he will create a desire in the young man to want to be with his dad.

Now, these are only opinions and I certainly am not a professional counselor. God knows I made plenty of mistakes raising my children. The thing is, they are only young for such as short period of time. If I could I would go back and spend as much time with each of them as I could.

I hope you find the way to bridge the gap here. I also hope you are not feeling guilty as it sounded at the end of your posting.

Good luck.