Separation/Divorce and Finances?

[Evan K]

I know this is a long question but I really need advice on how to make separation work financially.

Basically I separated from my partner 6 months ago.

We have two children (age 6 and 1).

While together we bought a house together and the mortgage is €1100 per month.

I earn €2000 per month.

Obviously we both had to work because I couldn’t pay the mortgage alone so she had to get a job too and she earns €1800 per month.

Since she is working the children are in after school care (the eldest) and the baby is in a crèche.

The cost of the childcare is €900 per month.

We spilt the payments fro mortgage and childcare 50/50.

When we spilt up I moved out of the house. I kept on paying my half of the mortgage and my half of the childcare which totals €1000 per month. I have also been giving her €50 a week for food etc.

Now I need to find somewhere to live because I’ve been sleeping on couches etc. The cheapest places to rent are €500 per month.

Obviously I can’t afford to give her €1000 a month for mortgage and childcare and pay €500 my own rent. I need to stop one of the payments.

I know if I stop paying half the mortgage le to pay the full amount herself. Nor can she afford to pay the costs. Her leaving work is not an option because I don’t make enough to support us both.

The only option I can see is that she needs to rent a room out in the house to make up the mortgage payment.

She seems to think it’s for me to figure out and doesn’t want to discuss it. I’m giving her €1200 a month. I can’t keep it up. I could take her to court and I know that all I would be ordered to pay is €560 child support and nothing else. She doesn’t seem to want it.

I would love to just get a higher paying job in reality that not possible.

When you separated/ divorced how did you work problems like these out?

I dont really want to take her to court because at the moment Im getting to see the kids regularly but if we go to court she will request a visitation order and I wwill only get once a month twice if I'm lucky. Thats how Irish courts work.
Also I wouldnt want to put her and kids out of the house but even if I did legally in Ireland that the family home so she is entitled to live there until the children are 18 and it cant be sold unless she agrees until then.
Unfortunilty the home is the only asset. The only thing we have is debts.
There was no cheating. It was just over. I had to leave because in Ireland you its the law that I leave the family home becaus shes the mother and has the right to live there with the children. I have no right to be there and she can get a 'Property Adjustment Order' saying that from the court if she wants to.