A lot of things have changed since 911 and banks are much more strict on deposits. For example, if you wanted to deposit an account into your own account, but you have no ID and you do not have your ATM card the bank should nott allow it to happen.
If a relative wanted to deposit into your account, they would need to know your banking number, not your pin, and they would have to have ID. As far as using your maiden name, you can deposit the check into the account with your new name. One thing you could do is write "Pay to the order of ________" (and insert your name that is on the account) on the back of the check where you typically sign. The bank shoudl then take your check no matter what.
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